Victoria´s Beam

Paris tale, part 1

I arrived to Paris on Friday November 13th, at 20:40 hs. and I must have left the airport at around 21:10 hs.

I saw heavily armed soldiers in groups of three patrolling around. I remember thinking “this government is afraid of Daesh…the feeling of safety one used to feel here is already gone” (because of Charlie Hebdo in January, the threats they post on line…). Looking for the bus stop I asked for directions to a soldier and he and two of his buddies decided to accompany me there in person. Unaware of what was about to happen that night I walked surrounded by them while we joked that I had my personal bodyguards.

I imagine at around 21:45, when the attacks happened, I was underground, traveling by Metro to the house where several of the attendees to Teal Swan’s workshop were staying in community, feeling a strange fear I haven’t felt in all the times I have traveled alone. I arrived to the last Metro stop and saw one ambulance pass by. I normally would have wandered around, socialized with some people or taken a few pictures. Instead, a sense of unsafety made me walk straight home.

There I was welcomed by warm smiles in a circle, inviting me to introduce myself and talk about why I was going to Teal’s workshop on Sunday. Five to ten minutes later a girl interrupted the gathering saying she was receiving an enormous amount of sms and facebook texts from her family and friends asking if she was OK. All of our phones started receiving personal messages asking the same.

We googled “Paris France news” and learned about the onslaught. One had happened around 9 or 10 blocks from our place.

One of the girls was experiencing lots of distress so I supported her. Many times when I am at home alone my problems and flaws seem so big they paralize me. Sometimes I feel in an emotional fog, isolated, craving real connection and unable to see my value or the value of what I can give. But now, in the face of a real adversity, seeing other people suffering, a strong clarity and serenity overtook me. It has happened before. I am capable of assisting the most unstable person with the right words or actions, and all the understanding and compassion needed to solve a crisis.

Most us were surprised but remained calm. Inside we were safe. For sure no-one was going to come randomly to the house and shoot us. After dealing with emotions, we focused on purpose on trust and love, answered all messages from dear ones, read about the whole thing on the internet and went to sleep very late.

On Saturday the organizers of the workshop confirmed we would meet at the Eiffel tower lawn for a healing gathering -Paris needed light- so there we went. 

This time I felt safe. On one side because I thought: Daesh’s attacks had taken a long time to prepare. They were several and all at the same time. For every killer there were others taking care of logistics, driving the cars, organizing passports and weapons, but they knew there was now a display of French forces looking for them all over the city. Very certainly they were now either in hiding or escaping. So there wouldn’t be any more strikes for some time. On the other side because the sensation in the air was, in spite of some sadness and a bit of fear, almost completely normal. 

The streets were unusually empty though, and in many there were armed soldiers or police forces. Ambulances and cars with sirens crossed our path a few times.

At the lawn we found around 30 other sweet souls eager to be together, meet like-minded beings and volunteer some healing to the collective. The government had forbidden gatherings, but I suspect our vibe was so obviously peaceful, the troopers left us alone.

There was no plan so I suggested we meditate and offered to guide it. We sat in a circle and every one of them participated in the most ready and surrendered way. I felt such warmth, love and admiration for all. To each of Teal’s workshops come people who have many characteristics in common. To this one at least I could see lots of empaths, wounded healers, with a fragility in their (our) demeanor, as if they thought there was something wrong with them (us). And still, In their trust and good will they were all acting so courageously. While most people in Paris were at home or in hotels recovering from the shock and absorving the media’s feed, all these beautiful souls were ready to sit in a public space -basically at the feet of the most well known symbol of France-, close their eyes, focus inwards and spread love into a city stricken by grief, no matter what could happen to or around them.

So there we meditated in a circle, anchoring in our bodies and our hearts, while a group of Japanese tourists took pictures, a guy laughed and made a few comments in French for a little while and soldiers observed from a distance. In any case, the mood afterwards was beautiful. We were happy and connected. We even practised some Acroyoga and there were also lots of good hugs.

Later many of us left together and enjoyed the most delicious meal in a typical French restaurant with tables on the street and strolled around the city until night, joking and chatting away about anything but the events on Friday. We relished like we were in a beautiful, safe city, in a world -made by our our own focus- full of light.

“TV Planet” no more

Dear -talking against asylum for muslim refugees- German, I understand your thoughts and fears. I’m also not fond of religions in general and less if they don’t respect women. But these are people, from all walks of life, librarians, cosmeticians, engineers, musicians, normal people who had a good life in Syria (most of them come from there) before the war.

Also Afghans, Iraqis. They come fleeing from horror, from destruction, that was produced by the guns the USA, Sweden, Germany, France, Russia, Saudi Arabia, and others sold, -for a great profit-, to the region. Fuelled by religious ideas, ideologies, but also from economical interests outside of those countries.

Where do you think Germany’s wealth comes from? Where do you think our comfort comes from? Weapons and Pharma make a big portion of it. Bayer sells as much pesticides as Monsanto to the world, they test medications and many other products in Africa and South America, and then sell them there for very high prices. Yes the responsibility is of many, and Germany is stepping up to the task (in a way, because is now sending more military to the Turkish border and doing whatever the US asks them to). That is good international karma for Germany. Its leverage. And who is going to pay for it? ….well… the citizens. Although I think in the west first of all the weapons industry and exporters should pay. And the huge bussiness that operate here and don’t pay any taxes like Apple, Starbucks…and yes of course also the Gulf states.

Everything is fucked up, lacking any kind of common sense and humanity. But guess what, now the west cannot keep fu..ing other people up and looking the other way. They have f..ed up so much, now people are coming in unstoppable numbers, and the ones in comfort won’t be able to do like it’s happening in “TV-Planet”. This is it, the world is one, we are one, whatever you do comes back to your doorstep. Things are going faster and everything we say, everything we do, has rapid ripple effects/consequences. What goes around, comes around, now, in the blink of a picture and a facebook post.

Sometimes I also get angry and afraid. I came from South America with an allergy to chauvinists, arrived to paradise, were men respect us as equals, and then I see women walking behind their husbands covered with sheets…”dammit, they are taking over my paradise” I thought more than once. But even in my angriest moments, a voice, my intuition, to the question “what is the solution to this? answers: it comes from the heart, with the heart.

Either we like or not, people are coming, because it is impossible to live there any more. They are coming and they are staying. We need to accept this. So…how are we going to react? Separating them, resenting these poor folks who have not started nor profited from the war? Trying to fight the ideas of the ones leaning to extremes? (which are definitely not all). I’ve tried, that does not work. And what if….what if I hug them, what if I show them kindness? Will their heart feel that? If they have harsh ideas against us, will they crumble? Will our own love towards them connect to theirs?

Another thing: everything is coming into clarity, the Syrians, Iraqis, Afghans KNOW that their “ brothers” from the rich Gulf states are doing next to nothing for them. And in contrast, they are being welcomed by “infidels” with such heart and generosity. This makes them question the very core of their ideas. THIS is what make minds change. So, I find it very important that we do our best to be kind, emphatic and understanding. This is our best tool. Because it feels good, because it is human, the right thing to do, and because it’s our best option. Truth runs at the speed of light now. Nothing will be forgotten. You punch someone in the face and tell them to “go home”, in 10 minutes they will be sharing it on facebook, thousands will know, fuelling hate and resentment of thousands if not millions more. You hug someone from your heart, in 10 minutes, the same process takes place! thousands, or better millons will know, nurturing love and thankfullness all over.

The practicalities, how are they going to work, learn German, etc. : I’m sure we will find the solutions with creativity soon :)

So…what are we going to choose, fear and separation, or trust and love?

My prayer for today

I ask my soul, my innermost guide, to help me anchor in love and only love. All these fears in my head, that seem so real and drive me sometimes to be defensive, agressive, mistrusting, sad, possessive, insecure…let me please doubt them and always choose love. May my life always be as when I dance in abandon, make love, give from consciousness, sing, laugh with someone with whom I feel safe. May I always act from love.

What would we need to save our planet from the precipice?

My actual opinion about Islam

This is a letter I wrote to a dear person, who is tolerant, open-minded and over-all well intentioned:

Dear Jan,



I will try and answer you from my heart. I fear Islam. I fear the results of so many people who have never read the Koran and say Islam is ¨a religion of peace¨. I don´t think it is. I tend to judge by acts, not words, and the amount of violence coming from the islamic end is appaling. This ideology was founded by a man who could not read nor write, who imposed his ideas with his sword.

He left the legacy of his example and his words in his book: ¨kill the ones who don´t agree with you, take their properties, take their women¨. You are better than the ¨unbelievers¨, jews are pigs, christians live in error, and they will all rot in hell. Beat your women if they don´t do as you say, -they are worth half of a man-, take slaves, and the ones who leave Islam, kill them too¨.

This ideology, (in spite of not being followed to-the-letter by lots of people who call themselves muslim but choose to do some of the things his prophet said/did but not others, thank ¨god¨) leaves me in awe of the human capacity to believe in nonsense.

And the people who say we should ¨tolerate it¨ and let it be taught to innocent children, I think they are not doing anyone a favor.

Don´t get me wrong, I´m not against 2.2 billion people. I´m just saying their ideology is nonsense, it is harmful for them and for everyone around them. Their ideology is NONSENSE. No common sense, no compassion, no universal love or desire for unity, no equality, no light, no freedom, no joy, no spiritual inspiration. No matter what they say, the Emperor has no clothes!



He means to millions of people an ¨example, a spiritual father¨, why don´t they choose someone more peaceful? more loving and respectful of humanity and animals? (for example: he ordered dogs to be killed)



¨Muhammad made strange and harsh statements about dogs and these edicts affect dogs in a tragic way. His teachings may have come from cultural bias, Pagan concepts, or his own imagination, but wherever they came from they led to the cruel treatment of dogs.



None of the statements regarding dogs are found in the Quran but they abound in the various collections of traditions (hadith). These traditions are a primary foundation of Islamic theology and are the basis of many Islamic laws. They render dogs as “impure” and worse. Per Muhammad’s orders most dogs were to be killed and all dogs of a specific color (black) had to be killed.¨



Sources: http://www.answering-islam.org/Silas/dogs.htm



My opinion about the ¨burn the Koran day¨: it is not useful and an act of agression. I would rather have a ¨Read the Koran day¨, in which people would find what that book actually says and they would decide by themselves if it is an example to follow or not. Truth is more powerful than guns.



That the majority of people are religious does not mean I must agree with them or have the lack of love to not tell them what I really think and see.



To be honest, I think mocking islam and exposing its nonsense is something positive. To make it loose its ¨holiness¨ will help millons of people suffering, subservient, to have courage to call things by their real name. Of course there will be a reaction against it. But if you want a child to grow (most humans are, emotionally, children of 5-12 years) you CANNOT yield to the tantrums of a child! if you love, you have to put limits, you have to say the truth, no matter how much they might feel ¨hurt¨ or ¨offended¨. It is their egos (their personalities, their ideas) that are offended, their center, their soul, their hearts KNOW the truth, otherwise they would not need to defend it with their blood! if you are sure of something, you don´t need to fight the world so it will believe you! you just bask in the peace of the knowing, you don´t need to fight anyone, to convince anyone!



What I see as solutions? educate. educate. educate. (An education that promotes free thinking , creativity and self knowledge, not memorization) Educate the women! let them go to school instead of marrying them young and send them to the kitchen. Stop teaching religion at the states´ expenses! Defend strongly human rights everywhere, included the right to free speech! if someone wants to say: your religion sucks! let it be! let it be because……sadly…..it is the truth! and if you say the truth long enough, it will be believed! 

:)

Also, very important about the Drone strikes I quote: 

¨Drone strikes produce more terrorists than they kill, according to a former CIA official.

What’s my point? Same as always. The entire war on terror, or whatever name it now carries, should be stopped, abandoned, shut down, ended. By and large, it has done nothing but kill hundreds of thousands of innocent Muslims.¨

Very interesting links about the subject:

• Excellent description of an ex-muslim on how and why his mind about Islam changed.
• A western liberal woman that almost converts to Islam, tells her experience
• An assesment of the military structure and methods of islamic states and why they are not so effective in battle
• A Pakistani Scientist and Professor, about muslim societies (in German)

and last but not least

• A funny and extremely acute perception of religions, by The Oatmeal

Circumcision

Another cruel tradition still surviving in the XXI century

I read today in a German newspaper, that the German Parliament was about to approve a law that made circumcision for non-medical-purposes (religious/tribal/idiological) illegal in Germany. As usual, Germany pleasantly surprises me with its abundance of common sense and freethinking. But…guess what, Muslim and Jewish religious leaders strongly opposed this would-be-law citing ¨intolerance¨ and so forth. To what Angela Merkel and other politicians backed up, and now this -very forward and compasionate law- will probably not be a reality.

So let´s say I have a son. (I can only imagine the amount of love and protective instinct I would have towards him). What force would make me allow someone to cut a part of his penis? (Because the forskin is part of the penis). What religious or scientific book, what tribal or religious leader, would be able to convince me to grab my vulnerable, beautiful, trusting, completely-dependant-on-me little baby and let part of his body to be cut off? NONE IN THE WORLD.

PS: In reality I don´t really like it when the government makes laws deciding on our right to choose…I guess informing people, making them more consciouss, is better than trying to force common sense (which does not work anyway). 

¨Germany’s lower house of parliament passed a resolution late on Thursday to protect the religious circumcision of infant boys after a district court ban on the practice outraged Muslims and Jews and sparked an emotional debate in the country……..

Christian Democrat Guenter Krings, who supported the resolution, said: “We do not want to give any endorsement … to the practice of circumcision with this resolution. It is important that there is a debate on the practice within religious communities and also within society, but this debate must not take place under the Damoclean sword of prosecution.”

The thing is, the cruelty of this custom and the post-traumatic effects of it on men fires me up. 

Sources: 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-18909640

http://www.gulf-times.com/site/topics/article.asp?cu_no=2&item_no=520209&version=1&template_id=39&parent_id=21

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/some-swiss-hospitals-follow-german-circumcision-ruling/story-e6frf7k6-1226431342020

Human contact in Berlin

This is my experience and also an event invitation

So, it was 2 weeks since I had arrived to Berlin (I´m from Argentina) and, althought I loved the place, I started feeling alone, the cold in the near winter seemed quite scary… also as I don´t have a boyfriend right now and normal people here seem a bit afraid of what in Latin America is a usual form of social touching, like hugs, brushing your hand to one´s shoulder when you are talking, that kind of thing, I was really missing human contact.

And then one friend asked me to go with her to Sunday Jams Berlin. I had no idea what it was about, but I trusted and said yes :)

I arrived to this beautiful space (clean, light, modern) called Yogaraumberlin, I inscribed and payed (3 or 5 Euros, depending on your wish to contribute). A perceptive guy greeted and welcomed me and I started investigating.

In one of the rooms there were people in sporty clothes, in couples, practising a kind of partner Yoga I had never seen before. For example, a girl in the floor holding with his legs another girl who was doing a stretching possition in the air. Interesting! It was AcroYoga.

From Wikipedia:

Acro-yoga is a physical practice which blends elements of Yoga, Acrobatics, and Healing Arts. These three ancient practices form the foundation of a practice that cultivates trust, connection and playfulness between partners.

Althought I practice regularly Hatha Yoga, that looked crazy dificult to me. But one of the guys there was kind enough to tell me, ¨do you want to fly?¨ (meaning do you want to be the one up there doing the positions while supported by the person on the floor) and I said, ¨I have no idea about this¨, he said, ¨no worries, leave it to me¨ (thank you Mirko). In no time he had me in the air doing the same postures the others were doing. And it felt so good! He was so patient and loving and I felt so grateful, I gave him a back massage. Everybody happy.

Then I found a girl just lying there and holding her back so I introduced myself and asked her what was wrong. She said she had a bit of pain so I offered to give her a massage too. That´s the vibe this place and this people were inspiring in me.

After a while I noticed the music on the next room and I felt like dancing, so I went there and there were folks dancing whatever, improvising to the tunes (I´m so newby to this). Some where dancing together, always in contact, like turning around, rolling on the floor, some where just lying there chilling out, kind of holding each other in a friendly way.

Wikipedia again:

Contact improvisation (CI) is a dance technique in which points of physical contact provide the starting point for exploration through movement improvisation. Contact Improvisation is a form of dance improvisation and is one of the best-known and most characteristic forms of postmodern dance.

I improvised with my girlfriend and it is funny because without knowing, and watching later some videos about Contact Improv, I did it quite well. So I think it is basically something instinctual, that all human beings have in themselves. It was such a warm and joyful feeling.

Later on I wanted a rest so I just laid there in a cozy corner with pillows and blankets. Some feet were near and I also felt like giving them a massage. Someone else came and laid by me and we hugged and cuddled. Then I turned around and the owner of the feet gave me a back massage. And then I got up, 2 or 3 hours had passed since the thought of leaving Berlin had crossed my mind, now gone for good.

I felt so content, like a hunger other than for food or water had been satisfied. Human contact. How could I have been for so long only getting this through my cat or casual sex? Nah nah this was a better experience of life.

So I´m thankful, I want to return some of the love you have given me so freely and I want other people who are in Berlin and maybe feeling a bit like I was feeling a month and a half ago, to be able to have this experience too.

Thank you Jörg for organizing this super event every Sunday, thank you all the AcroYoga/Yoga and Contact Improv tribe of Berlin. I love you guys.

If you wanna come and maybe see me there, it is every Sunday from 19 to 23 hs. at Yogaraumberlin.de, Pfuelstr. 5, 10997 Berlin. Stairway IV, Top Floor.

Today at the Parliament in Berlin

So, today there was a global demonstration, organized to show support to the ¨Occupy Wall Street¨ people in NYC.  This went on in several cities, included Berlin, where I´m staying now.

This demonstration was also to support the people of Greece, Iceland, Spain, Chile, Argentina (10 years ago) and every place where there is an economical and social mess. Those places where goverments and banks don´t seem to want  (or be able to)  support the common good but grab the money they can before their whole system collapses.

I went there, of course. I wanted to show support and help send a message of global union to the rest of the world. Someone had made this wonderful signs saying exactly what I wanted to say: ¨We are one¨, ¨U are me¨ or ¨I am U¨ and 3 hearts on the other side, and I got one :).

Anyway, In Germany things are actually not so bad, I feel the country organized, with a fairly good economy and good enough support to its citizens. But Berliners, in their generosity and global awareness, showed up in big numbers, to my surprise, in front of the Reichstag, At around 18 hs we were near 10.000 souls, dancing, talking, meeting with friends and watching the police in green watching us.

At around 19 hs it started to get cold and some decided to bring tents to spend the night there. Then the police started talks with some of the spontaneous leaders of the demonstration saying we shouldn´t have any tents there, tents not allowed.

A team brought food to feed us so we wouldn´t have to leave the place, another brought blankets, papers to sit on and plastic bags to cover our legs to fight the cold.

Meanwhile we started discusing if we should take the tents out or not, to what most people said, let the tents be here, why shouldn´t we have them? They will just take the tents, then the papers, the the signs, then the food and force us to leave the space, so no, we´ll keep the tents. 

I thought it was a good idea to get inside one of the tents, so if the police came, it wouldn´t be so easy to grab it. And so it happened, the police -in organized lines-, came one by one taking the tents by force. The sprayed people with pepper gas in the eyes, they kicked others, the grabed some by the hair. When they got to the tent I was in, they couldn´t just grab it so they started ripping it appart and then grabed us by the arms and started taking us away. Other demonstrators grabed our legs to helps us stay. I covered my hair with my hands, feeling a bit scared because I could feel the agression in the police getting stronger. After some hustling and some passive resistance on our part, they gave up and went away.

Then we had some time to talk about why we were there. Many people expressed solidarity with the rest of the world. Some talked against capitalism. There were the ocasional idiots screaming ¨pigs¨ to the police and ¨Germany is shit you can see it in them¨ but the majority of the chants were ¨we are the people¨, ¨we are one people¨, ¨international solidarity¨, ¨we are the 99%¨.

Then the police, in a quite coordinated and forceful way came and took all the food, tables, dishes and drinks away.

 Then they just said we should leave the place. We asked for half an hour to decide. Ther was a debate in the following manner: whoever wanted could stand and say aloud: ¨mike check¨ . Then all the rest of the demonstrators, in order to act as ¨speakers¨, would repeat word by word what the person was saying. ¨Mike check¨ repeated everyone. The eventual person said: ¨I think we should stay because this and that…¨ ¨I think we should stay because this and that…¨  repeated the crowd. So everyone in attendance would hear. Many people gave their point of view and after a while the majority decided we had the right to stay there, we were peacefully expressing ourselves in solidarity with the rest of the world, we weren´t doing anything wrong, we should stay.

After the half an hour, at around 22.30 hs, more and more policemen started surrounding us. There were policemen in green, which seemed a bit more simpathetic, and policemen in dark blue or black who had very serious-agressive faces and a resolute attitude.  There might have been 200 to 300 policemen there. They were filming us, taking pictures and observing us while through loud speakers they said something like: whoever doesn´t leave right now will have to be responsible for the consecuences. To what we responded, ¨We stay here¨. 

Most of us sat very close together and grabed each others arms. Many had brought more food and hot drinks that were being kindly distributed and shared among the crowd.  There was a warm and friendly atmosphere. We were worried about the police and we knew they would grab us away, but we decided we preferred to stay. We weren´t going to leave just because they said so.

So the police starting advancing and one by one they tried to talk us into leaving and when we didn´t comply they grabed us, some by the legs, some by the arms, some by the hair, they kicked and punched some,  they dragged others around 50 meters away from the middle of the gathering. Our chants of ¨We are peaceful what are you?¨ didn´t seem to make any difference in their behavior.

When they came for me, this policeman in black, mouthpiece and helmet screamed at me something in German. I made the mistake this time of saying I hadn´t understood (I shouldn´t have responded nor made eye contact). To what he replied in broken English: this is your last chance…and some unrecognizable words in a not very soft way. I said in German ¨I´m sorry, what?¨. To what he grabed my arm and twisted it so bad he had me screaming in the floor, I let myself fall in the floor not opposing at all but just saying please, it hurts, while 2 other policemen grabbed me by the other arm and legs. The dragged me out and then when I could stand -the policeman in black still making me scream of pain- they escolted me away from the middle.

They kept doing this until everyone was standing and then slowly they pushed us like cattle to the street, and then they told us to go home.

 So…what did we do? Well, someone said (actually a new found friend I was with) ¨let´s go all to the Branderbug Gate,  which is one of the most well-known landmarks of Berlin and Germany, a once symbol of peace, and -after the French attacked Berlin in the times of Napoleon-, a symbol of victory and power.

We were around 50 to 100 by the time we reached the 10 minute walk to Brandeburg Gate.  We discused about coming back the next day, at what time and where, while van after van filled with policemen started surrounding us again.

After most of us agreed on coming back to the same place tomorrow Sunday, at 13 hs, a young German guy, with long hair and a fragile frame, stood up and  said, we should be more organized next time, let´s get together before 13 hs. ¨. Where!? Said someone. To what he responded: at my house.

I mentioned to my companions, it´s good we are in Germany, if we were in Egypt or Iran and someone said that in public, the police would soon show up and they would most likely disappear. One of the girls in my group smiled and nodded.

At that point the police said through speakers something like: leave or we will ask for everyone´s ID.

 It was around 00.30 or 1 AM.

I said to my friends, we better leave or we won´t make it here tomorrow.

We stand up and start walking and suddenly around 20 policemen start running after the thin guy with the long hair, they grabed him , got him on the floor while several demonstrators runned to help, shouting ¨let him go, let him go!¨.

The police quickly started surrounding all of us.  I tried to find a way out but they were all around. Until I saw the  Adlon hotel. I got in, asked the concierge to help me plugging my Iphone to the electricity and went to the bathroom for 20 minutes. When I came out I could see the policeforce outside. Went back to the bahtroom for 30 minutes. When I came back out there were only 2 police vans and cero demonstrators. I took a skin out of my jacket to seem somehow different (they had videotaped us all) and went directly into a Bahn station. 

I couldn´t use my phone to call my friends…it asked for my PIN and I didn´t have it with me.

While I waited for the train/metro I pondered…The polizei seemed to have very clear instructions. Dismantle the demonstration at all costs and as soon as possible. Avoid its repetion in the following days.  They acted methodically and strategically. They didn´t care that we were peaceful or simpathetic. They just wanted us out of there, not assembling, not expressing.

Why? What would be the consequences of having thousands of people in Berlin complaining about the current economical system and showing solidarity with the Occupy Wall Street movement?  Are they afraid of the European Union suffering economically because of the protests? Of giving an image of loss of control of their own people? Why is so important to them to silence us? Does the government of Germany fear us so much? Apparently (eyebrows up in bewilderment) yes.